Tuesday, October 03, 2006
I sounded so emo nowadays...1.) I am a selfish one who only care about myself.
2.) I am rude and ignorant.
3.) I am someone who only help when there's benefits.
4.) I am someone who will abandon her in the future.
5.) I am someone who will not take care of her when she is in hospital in future.
6.) I am a teenager who sounded rebellious and act like one too.
7.) I am a someone who cant be bothered anymore.
8.) I am now on my own.
9.) I cant be compared with my brother as he is far far far far fucking fucking fucking hell too good.
10.) I am a lazybum.
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This is what I am to my mother =]
Yes, I am truely upset as she thought that i-am-a-selfish-bastard ( I AM NOT AT ALL ) . I jolly well admit part of this arguement is my fault of being too harsh and rude to her. Yes, I give in again to prevent any awkard situation in the house and also not to let my father to stand in a difficult position.
Honestly, I had been working hard to meet up to what she wanted her daughter to be like. That's so many things i done for her. Alright maybe all those efforts I put in to her is just nothing compared to my brother who is currently studying in poly but I thought I had done enough or even my best.
24 hours is really not enough for my daily schedule which including
-school time ( i reach home about 6 daily )
-revision time FOR MY COMING O
-sleeping time
-family time
-my own time ( talking on phone with S )
After reaching home from school, I has already feeling half-die ( so tired ). I need TIME!
I need more time so that I could have clean up the house and spending some time with my family.That's so much things I wanna say inside me......
I am physically tired and mentally tired. I dont know how to handle all this at a time. I do complain to my friends on blah blah thingy. I dont like to share the inner self of me to others, I do cried like a pathetic asshole but away from other's eyes...
I realised that I sounded so emo nowadays. I hate myself when I feel like Im a weakling...
END OF THE SENTENCE : I need more time!
Time to hit the books ! ciaoz....
